Episode 007 – Bob Smiley Part 2 of 2

 
 
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On the first episode, Bob gave us a look into his journey from aspiring educator to accidental comedian. This time, he shares how his faith foundation revealed itself when his marriage fell apart after 17 years. But don’t worry, there’s a happy ending! Bob’s wife even texted during the interview and one of his “bonus” sons gives him a shout out. See more about Bob at bobsmiley.com

Episode Transcript:

 Hi, I’m Alexis Busetti and welcome to That Makes Total Sense! This is the second episode of a two episode series with comedian Bob smiley. He is hilarious and he keeps it real. So go back and listen to the first episode if you happened to miss it. In this conversation, Bob is going to tell us about some twists and turns in his life that left him wondering if God could even still use him. And I know that we have all been there. So sit back, relax and listen to this amazing conversation with comedian Bob smiley. 

Alexis:    All right everybody, well we are back with uh, Bob smiley for episode two and I am so excited to have you back on. That makes total sense. And welcome back Bob. 

Bob:    Oh, thanks. Yeah, we, uh, before we started recording we were talking about like how, you know, it looks like it’s a rock star life and everything. And I’ve always thought about like, cause you do have to work hard. Like we in the first segment we talked about, you know, how God opened doors and stuff, but you still have to be willing to work really hard. And I’ve had so many moments where I’m dragging my bags at 4:00 AM from the rental car company across the parking lot in the snow, um, to fly back home. And I always thought, man, if people could see that they had realized like, Oh, it’s not this glamorous like lifestyle or anything. It is hard. It can be hard work and, and stuff. But people just see you on stage and they think, Oh, first of all, if you make it look easy, and people, you know, anybody thinks they can do it. 

You know, not surgeons don’t do that. You don’t watch somebody and be like, Oh, I bet I could do open heart surgery. You know, like the people, if you make people a room full of people laugh, everybody you know, thinks, Oh, it’s so easy. And there’s no, you know, hard work too. But it is. I remember I was in a gym one time and I was in the dry sauna and a guy goes, what do you, I see you in here at all different times. Uh, what do you do? And I was like, I’m a comedian. And he pause, and this is probably the most insulting, but like from the heart response, he goes, Oh, well then what does your wife do? There was this mentality of like, well, he can’t make money  counting up like, you have rent, you have groceries. Yeah, your wife must need a surgeon. He’s gotta be, the surgeon was like,  and I, I was a little snarky. I was like, Oh, she sleeps on large stacks of money, which is not, it’s a very small stack that she sits on. But yeah, it was just so, cause people just don’t, they just can’t comprehend of, you know, what this kinda job entails and stuff. But yeah, I always like every time I’m dragging my bags, you know, especially in the snow, like an early in that I always take the earliest flight to get home to my family and I was like, this is what people need to see. 

Alexis:  This is it. I mean it’s, it takes you back to when, when I was growing up, you know, there’s all those phrases that your parents or the older people in your life say on a regular basis and you’re like, I don’t know where that came from. It doesn’t make sense. But the one I keep thinking of as well, you know, he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. Right. And it’s like, that’s what they mean, right? It’s like he’s, he’s dragging his, his suitcases. Like on our break, I’m putting laundry in because you know, our kids start school tomorrow and, and it’s like we, everybody, no matter what we do, we just have real lives. We have everyday lives, we have to work hard and we have to keep up a household and we’ve got to do all those things. 

Bob:    Yeah. My Butler puts my pants on one leg at a time.

Alexis:  Exactly. I just saw a tweet, somebody said it was somebody was uh, you know, kind of making fun of Oprah a little bit. It’s like, how does she have so much peace at age 64, you know, step one have $1 billion. Right. Okay. So maybe Oprah is not dragging her phone suitcases, but 

Bob:    I’m a huge Bruce Willis fan and I interview with him and they, and they were like, how do you stay humble? And he, I think it was Die Hard. Like I dunno, part pie. There’s, there’s so many of those. But he, he had finished filming a Die Hard movie and he said that they did the rap and the next day he was carrying dirty diapers out to the trash cans. How do you not stay humble if you’re like, you know, 

Alexis:    Dirty diapers will keep anyone humble.  Have like those backstage, you know, like if somebody kind of gets as my grandma would say too big for their britches, you know, you just bring back like an almost potty trained two year old boy. Then he was like, you know, up the back and everything else and be like, Oh right, right before you go on, we just need, we really need you to change this kid.

Bob:    Oh, that would be so humble. You don’t see that in a lot of riders, uh, at first, stars and stuff.

Alexis:  Right. Exactly. Um, so let’s talk about this because really, I mean where we left off, I don’t think anybody’s thinking you’re dragging your suitcase. I mean, where are we left off in the story? And by the way, if you have not heard the first episode with Bob, do yourself a favor and go back and listen to it because it was so good. But where we left off was you were, I mean, you were kinda, you were on, on your way out the door, getting ready to go to an interview for a banner shop and, or warehouse thinking you may have run out of shows. It may be coming close when the Newsboys call and say, Hey, we’ve got 68 show’s coming up, would you go on the road with us? So take us from there kind of, kind of to where we got, you know, in Galveston a couple of weeks ago when you said, you know, maybe you don’t know my story. So that’s kind of where we left off and your story was Newsboys are calling bro. And that’s pretty big deal. 

Bob:    Yeah. And that was my, uh, that was my second tour of the Newsboys. And I mean that happens throughout, like anytime there, you know, shows weren’t coming in, like my own shows and stuff, um, bands would call me. I ended up doing four, four tours with the Newsboys and third day. And like, I just was very blessed that, um, you know, that people enjoyed me being on, on tour with them. And, you know, again, it was a lot of it. The newsboy actually Peter furler, the lead singer was, uh, he was doing an interview one time and they asked you, how come they bring me out? And he was like, because Bob comes from the school of hard knocks the same way that we do. So when I get out on the road, I was doing all this extra stuff, um, that helped out on the tour. 

I didn’t have this mentality of like, Oh, well I just do jokes. I can’t jump in. But I, you know, I’d get up early and train the, uh, you know, volunteers that would do in March or I would train the, um, security guards and, you know, just extra stuff to help out. And so, yeah, so I w I did all that and I got to where I could just do in my own shows, uh, to the point where we can move back to Texas. Um, because I could now live anywhere I wanted to, as long as I had a good airport. Uh, my hotel shampoo collection was massive. Um, my family was getting to travel with me a lot during the summers and I kinda could pick my own schedule. So I was really only going out and doing, uh, usually Friday, Saturday shows, and then home all week. 

And so I was home more than most husbands and fathers and man, life was good. It was really good. Um, this is why I ask if people knew my story because it, it, you know, my job is to make people laugh, but I really do it. This is the secret. I really do it so I can get on stage and talk about Jesus. And I’ve learned, I learned a long time ago that if I can make people laugh, they’ll lower their wall and allowed me to get a message into them. And every comedian preaches Chris rot. When he’s up there, he’s ranting on something. He’s preaching on something. And so I always like to talk about God, but I’d had a really great childhood, a really great life. Um, and then, uh, my career, just like I said, God opened the doors. And even though I had to work really hard, my career was going really well. 

Um, and so I really hadn’t gone through hardly any tragedy in my life, but the whole time I’m standing on stage and telling people God can get them through anything, but I really had not ever wandered in the desert, so to speak. Um, then we started going to this church and we started hanging out with this other couple who was very wealthy, um, and we were vacationing together. And then I came home one day from a three day run. And, uh, my wife told me that she didn’t want to be married anymore and really came as a shy, I actually thought this is terrible, but, um, when she first said it, I thought she was joking and then I had the thought, well, she’s really not that funny. Yeah. 

Alexis:    And no, that’s terrible, right? I’m like, what was my process? Oh my goodness, that’s not, and then, and how long had you guys been married at the time, Bob? That’s 17, 17 and a half years. Wow. Okay. Fast forward. We’re 16. We were 16 in June. Yeah. This isn’t a long time, it’s, it’s a long time to be married and settled and you and everything is good. And, and so to kind of, no, not to fast forward through the birds of your children. But when we left off, you were living in Nashville and when, and when they called, when the news was called for the second time, you had a wife and one child at that time, when, when you walked in and she said that you had three boys, right? 

Bob:    We had three boys. Yeah. Um, we had moved back to Texas because, uh, one, uh, well, the biggest reason you can’t buy blue bell ice cream in Nashville. 

Alexis:    Hey man, I mean, it’s the truth in Nashville. You really can’t. Well, you can now, but at the time, come on Nashville. Yeah, 

Bob:    It was one restaurant. Uh, I think it’s called tech SANAS or something. I’m not a sponsor. And they, uh, they serve Bluebell ice cream in one of their desserts. But that was it. That was the only, 

Alexis:    Right. But I mean, preach, you had to move back. Yeah. We only have Bluebell in the fridge. 

Bob:    So, uh, we moved, we moved back and um, yeah and had two more kids. Uh, Texans, I always, always bugged my oldest for being a Yankee. But yeah. So again, you know, life was good. And then she just, she just walked out and left. And so all of a sudden my world caved in like women. And then I had to sit back and watch, not only my family fall apart, but this other family split up and fall apart. And we were, both families were really active in the church and so it was like awkward watching people take sides and queues and um, look the other way, that was a big shock of people that were, that knew what was going on. I just looked the other way and we’re like, Oh well you know. Um, so all of a sudden I was in complete like depression and like my world was broken, like absolutely broken. 

And, um, it was really bad for why, in fact, we talked about Tim Hawkins, he was the first person I called and I was like, I got to tell you what’s going on. Cause I wasn’t telling anybody cause I won. I didn’t know if it was gonna completely derail my career. I didn’t know if like Christian churches in general would even have somebody, you know, I didn’t want to get divorced. I didn’t, we didn’t really have problems. Um, you know, it just, all of a sudden I’m forced into this situation that I didn’t want to be in. And, you know, I worried about everything. How do I take care of my three boys who were also incredibly shocked. And, you know, we’re dealing with a lot of betrayal and anger and, um, you know, especially, you know, trust issues. We all had trust issues for a while because we were such good friends with this other family. And then all of a sudden, you know, it  destroyed our, our family.

Alexis:  Well now I’m gonna pause real quick and I know that I don’t, I don’t know that you’re on purpose not saying it, but I mean, I think we’re all kind of going, so, so what happened? I mean, your wife, did she have an affair with the, with the husband? They’re married. They’re married now. Oh wow. Okay. No. Yeah, you’re right. I mean, I just, I just wanted to kind of say that like, I know it’s, I know it’s a hard wound still and a scar is still, but like, we’re just going to say that for the clarity of, of who’s listening. And they asked, you know, a couple and they ended up, they ended up together, your wife and the husband, they claim… 

Bob:    I met with the elders of the church and the elders said, here’s what’s going to happen. They’re going to claim that, um, they just happen to leave their spouses the same week, um, kind of right after a vacation in Mexico that we all took together. And then they’re going to say that they claim to, uh, just lean on each other. And then there’s something grew, but they used to joke about how they were cut out for each other anyway before, you know, and difficulty, all that kind of stuff. So, yeah. So now, like I was in a situation where I was like, Oh, I really, if I really believed all this stuff, I said on stage that God can get you through it. If I really was getting up and reading the Bible every day and because I truly believed it, now is the time to put my money where my mouth was, you know. 

Um, and I called Hawkins and he gave me the best advice and I give this advice to anybody cause I do talk about it, not at every show, but I do talk about it at shows and I’m fun. And I hope that it resonates with a lot of people that are going through hurt just to be reminded. And the thing that Hopkins said was, and I called him on the phone and I remember I was out walking and I was just miserable. And, um, he just paused and he was angry cause he, you know, knew me. And he stayed at our house several times and you know, really knew everyone. And um, he was like, don’t go through this alone. Do not go through this alone. Um, 

Alexis:    What a good friend. What great advice.

Bob:  He blocked my number and I couldn’t call him – but it was because I would get the kids off to school and I would just sit in my house by myself in just this emptiness. And part of the problem with being a comedian is I am home all day during the week, but I’m usually gone during the weekends when normal people hang out. And so I didn’t really have a lot of friends, um, outside of like doing couple friends and stuff. And I realize like, Oh, most of my friends are comedians that are, you know, in other States and stuff. And so there was a lot, like a first month was really hard because I just, I would get the kids to school and then I would just sit in my empty house in just, you know, and this cloud of depression just caved in on me. And so I finally started taking, his advice was starting, you know, to call Hopkins and, uh, Darren <inaudible> blow and all these guys that, you know, are comedians that are friends of mine and just kind of leaning on them. 

And, uh, you know, I really went to the whole thing of thinking God couldn’t use me. That’s where I was leading to because we were doing a fundraiser first and, um, ministries in Galveston. And I wouldn’t really plan on talking about it, but I thought, and this is like, we need help. And I was at a point in my life where I needed help. I needed community, I needed people to come in and surround me and the boys and you know, help us. And I, and I did it. And it was, it was all, it wasn’t the people from the church that I thought would step up and help. It was people that I’d kind of known. There was a girl named Brianna who I’ve known forever, but we weren’t really close friends. And she came over and started cooking for the boys, or, um, I started a life group. 

Um, and started, you know, cause I really wanted to see if God could still use me. And so I started this life group and we started doing meals, you know, for the life group. And I noticed that she was making way more food than what we needed for, cause she’s this amazing cook and I realized like, Oh she’s doing that so that they would, we would have it in my house and she was doing it. So we would, she would leave all this food. You have all the leftovers for the boys and stuff. And so it was, it was amazing to kind of look back. But that was, that’s why I brought it up that show that night because we need people investing in, in people’s lives. 

Alexis:    Well let me ask you, let me ask you this pause for a second because I just think you’ve said it a few times. And for the listener, when you’re saying I wanted to know or I wanted to see if God could still use me, what, what did you think would be the barrier? What was going through your mind? Cause, obviously we’re seeing you on the other side of this and it’s so completely obvious that God is using you still kind of in quotes, I feel like still. But what, what did you feel like inside your head or inside your heart was going to be the barrier? What happened that you thought now I’m not usable or I might not be usable by them. 

Bob:    So my whole thing, and this comes from the enemy, but he loves the first <inaudible> uh, first, first light. First of all, isolate you because then he could start messing with you. And so, um, my whole thing was I was too broken to be used. I still had tons of shows and I would go out and try to do these shows, making people laugh when inside I was just absolutely miserable, worried about my kids, worried about, you know, what are they being taught? Like I didn’t want them to, to think that, you know, what was happening was okay to do later. Whenever they started getting relationships, I didn’t want them to, um, have resentment and hatred and all this stuff that I was watching them deal with. So I really felt like I was too broken for God to use. And so that was what was going through my head. I remember the first show I did after she left, I’m standing on stage and all these people are laughing and I just stopped for a second in my mind I just thought, how can you guys be laughing? Don’t you know how much pain is in this world? And so I really thought like, yeah. 

Alexis:    You don’t think that you hadn’t thought that six months before. Oh, not at all. Life’s a party. 

Bob:    Yeah. A month and a half before that I life was a party. So, um, yeah, I really did. And that’s why I shared that story about the prison was they, uh, I still don’t even know how this guy got my number, but he just called and said, man, have you ever thought about doing, you know, performing in a prison? And ironically, I had talked to a couple of my comedian friends who had done prison stuff and so I was already thinking about it, but I didn’t know how to do it. And I was scared. Like I was really scared to go in and, and try to encourage prisoners and all that. And so, but I did that. I did that show and I took my oldest son and he loved it. And it was just a really good thing. And I’m just looking out at these prisoners who are just, you know, I mean, they’re locked up and they’re, you know, one of the first guy that came in, you know, came up and thanked me for coming. 

And the thing is, I said, you know, you don’t even know if I’m funny. And he goes, I don’t care if you’re funny. The fact that you’re here gives us a little bit of hope. Wow. Sometimes a little bit of hope is all we need. And that’s whenever it kind of dawned on me like, Oh, I just need to show up and just let God do whatever he’s going to do. And you know, quit thinking and here’s the deal. I really have read the Bible through several times and God uses broken people all the time. So now, now that I’m kind of past it, I can look back and be like, I don’t know what I was worried about. But at the time I really was just worried. 

Alexis:  Right. And when, when you went to that, to the prison, he shared that story at the, the show that I was at. I just thought this is huge. When you shared that he had gone up to you and said, we’re just so thankful you’re here. And immediately my mind went to the place in the gospels where Jesus says, you know, when, when you did this, you did it to me when you gave someone a cup, a cup of cold water. And one of the things he says is you, when you visited in prison, you did that, you know, to me, or for me and I, I think for me that’s one of the forgotten parts of that verse. Like I think we help the needy, we help the orphans, we help the widows, we give people food, we help them with their clothing. But to visit someone in prison, you know, you want to talk about brokenness and potential for misery. And all of those places, those men and women there. And just to have someone, because like Tim told you, don’t do this alone, but just to have someone show up and say, I see you that you’re here. I know that you’re a human. You’re a person who needs connection and needs joy and laughter, like you said, 10 times more powerful than work Mainer or whatever it is. Like, like they need that. They need that just like everyone else. So, 

Bob:    yeah, and one of the guys, so they all came up afterwards. Um, and uh, one of them <inaudible> looked at me and he goes, Hey, I live by you. And I was like, Nope, I didn’t, I don’t think I shared this in the stage, but he goes, I live by you. And I was like, you do? And he goes, yeah, you’re the one who runs on and he named the street. Yeah, 

Alexis:    I know. 

Bob:    And uh, he goes, I’ve seen, I’ve seen you run there. And I quickly panic. I made a joke. That doesn’t mean I’m the guy who runs with a really big can of mace. Don’t worry. Like, first of all, I’m here for a while and second of all, you were funny, so I’m going to give you a pass if I see you. Funny, funny. But also just reminded me of like, Oh these people, they’re us. They’ve just somehow gotten on the wrong path. That’s exactly right. That’s the only difference. This guy lived down the street from me, right. That mixed up in some bad stuff and ended up getting caught and is paying his, you know, his price for that. But he’s, you know, look just like me, I’m in better shape cause I’m a runner obviously. Um, yeah he was driving or walking on his porch. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so that was kind of eye opening to have like, man, we’re all in this world. We all have temptations, we all make bad decisions, you know. And um, yeah but God can use all of us if we’ll just allow him to. 

Alexis:    So what did your kind of, I mean the first phrase that came to my mind was your road to recovery because you were, you’re feeling so broken, but what did that look like moving forward? Cause you, you kept doing shows, but you were, you know, trying to develop, really develop a community that you didn’t have before to kind of help get you in your inner voice through this. But what did that start to look like as you started to come through and, and experience your new reality? 

Bob:    Yeah, so my boys and I’ve always been very, very close. I’m always very active dad. And you know, because I don’t have a job, um, I’m able to volunteer up at school. So I have known their, you know, teachers and principals and their friends and all that. So, um, and when the kids get off the bus, I’m home ready to play and do stuff. So I’ve always been very, very close with my boys. And so we really kind of like, you know, circled the troops and, and lean on each other and, and all that. And so my boys and I, we got even closer. And so I felt like, because I already had that relationship that it was easier to help them through all this kind of stuff. Um, but yeah, it just, it looked like it really was. Putting the, um, what does the phrase, I guess, the money where your mouth is? 

I’m okay if I really do believe this. It’s time to start, like trusting in the fact that God does have us and he will protect us. He will take care of us. And so I did and when I realized God can still use me, I started throwing myself into a, like I said, I started a life group when I started at four singles, like single, um, parents or people that were kind of our age group. Um, and we just formed this community, um, the of people in my neighborhood, in my area, the, that would lean on each other that we could all call on. And it, it did become this, this very, very cool community of people that have been through bad stuff. But we were, you know, we were still wanting to help other people. And so building, that was great. And I started a tour called the singles, not a four letter word with Carrie Palmer. Rowley. 

Alexis    Yeah. I actually just saw that on your site. It looks like you’re doing that. Maybe V-day 

Bob:    We’re doing Valentine’s day a who Woodlands. Uh, and this is going to be our third time back. They’re doing that. We’re going to be different, you know, material and stuff. But yeah, it, uh, so we started touring around the country doing that show and churches that don’t really have anything for singles. They, they started bringing us in to, and it was kind of eye opening. There was so many people that were single in it, in the areas and there’s not very many single stuff and they all of a sudden we’re hearing a message. Uh, you know, they were laughing and having a great time, but they also were hearing this message of you’re important just cause you don’t look like what the world says. You know, you graduate from college, you get married, you have, you know, two and a half kids and you, you know, end up sitting on a porch sipping tea with your spouse. You know, that’s, that’s how life is supposed to go. Well, not everybody’s life goes like that. Doesn’t matter. Your life is your path that guy created and you know, he has plans for you, plans to prosper you. And so if you will keep your eyes on him and, and try to follow his word and his guidance and love on other people, you still matter in this world. So there were a lot of singles that we talked to that just felt like they really didn’t matter cause they didn’t know where they fit in. 

Alexis:    Wow. Wow. And you were just, I mean I know you didn’t anticipate that, but what an amazing message to be able to spread to them that that 

Bob:    Yeah. 

Alexis:    And it wasn’t them anymore.

Bob:  Yeah. Yeah. It wasn’t it. I would have never started this ministry if I wouldn’t have just been blindsided and you know, thrown into this situation. I remember the second time that I ever talked about the first time was at Lakewood and they actually asked me to talk about it and I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t plan it on talking about it, but I called them. I was like, I just want to be honest. Cause I was doing a marriage thing that I’d done the year before. It was rosy and awesome and I was like, I’m still very pro marriage but I just want to let you guys know what’s going on. So I’m coming in and you know, feeling like I’m hiding something from you. And they were like, would you please talk about it on stage? Wow. That was kind of refreshing of Oh church is okay with the fact that not everybody is perfect. You know, we don’t have to put on this front or this mass. Here’s a church that loves people where they are and wants to help them, which is what church should be. And I kind of had this mentality of like, no, we all put our mask on. We go to church on Sunday, how are you? I’m fine. Kind of thing. And on 

Alexis:    You, I want to go on record right now and saying I am a huge fan of Lakewood. And actually when I thought, I thought you should do the singles group at Lakewood because there, I didn’t know you’d been doing stuff with them years, but I know they have a a big active singles group there, but they are so good. Exactly what you’re saying at loving people. Exactly where they are. Just like God does. 

Bob:    I mean people at Lakewood are listening. I would love to do there. I haven’t done anything for their singles there. I’ve only gone there. It stuff there. 

Alexis:    I think they have a pretty big, I think they have a pretty big singles ministry. I think at least. I was on the elevator with some singles a few weeks ago and they were, they were talking about where they were, where they were headed, but yeah, liquid is amazing. I just love it and I’m so thrilled that that’s such a testimony. I feel like that would be really affirming to you if you’re still in that spot where you’re thinking, God, can you even use me? And they’re going to talk about this at a marriage seminar. 

Bob:    Yeah. Wow. That was I opening. And then people after the show, they came up and couples and said, yeah, you know what, cause I was, I was telling you, I was telling them that they’re, everybody has a target on their back and that marriages are definitely under attack. And then I saw, I shared it with them. I said, I’m no different. It’s like my marriage is done. Um, you know, and I didn’t go into a lot of details cause he is so fresh. Right. I was like, this is, I’m forced into this and I, you know, I wish I could’ve seen it coming or, you know, stopped it somehow. And, um, you know, you guys may be in that situation where your marriage isn’t good, but you’re just letting it sit there and just get stagnant and you’re not doing anything. There’s an attack on it and you’re not even, you know, realized. 

And I had people come up and go, yeah, we, we didn’t realize it, but our marriage hasn’t been good for awhile. And so again, another like feather in my cap of like, Oh God, maybe he can use it. And so then I flew to the next day. Again, I’m planning on talking about it, but got to a part in my show where I was like, I really felt strongly that maybe I should talk about this. And, but I was so worried about offending people or people, you know? And so I got off stage and there was a, Gus immediately went to my merge table and he was standing there and he was shaking and he was tall. And I walked up and he grabbed my shoulder and he pulled me over to the side and I thought, Oh, here comes the offended part. How dare you talk about stuff like that. 

And he looked at me and he was shaken and he goes, he goes, my wife left me yesterday. Oh no. And at that show I talked about community. I talked about like don’t go alone and stuff. And, and he, and he was like, I don’t know who you are. I didn’t want to come. I didn’t think I was going to laugh. I really didn’t think I was going to laugh as much as I did, but I definitely didn’t expect to hear anything positive. But the fact that you stood up there and said that no matter what you’re going through, you can get through it if you stay focused on God. And I talked about community, he goes, my friend drug me here. I didn’t want to come. Wow what I needed. And my friend knew that. And so after that man, I was on fire, I was like, alright, come on, let’s do this. It was kind of this mentality of I didn’t want to be in that situation. I didn’t want to be the one to carry the ball on that. 

Alexis:  Right. 

Bob:    Well I was glad that God still had me on the team. Yes, I was still, Oh, I’m so part of this is just going to look different than what I thought it was going to be. 

Alexis    Right. And, and you know, I’ve heard people say, and again, it’s something that I say, if I’m being completely honest, it’s something that I say with fear still a little bit, but it’s like your testimony, our testimony isn’t ours. It belongs to the Lord. Yeah. So you know, when on the first part where you said, you know, your friend was kind of like, Hey, I wish I’d have been addicted to crack. I’d have this great testimony. You know, and one of my friends at, at ACU, actually, she’s going, my testimony is the same, you know, group in this great Christian home just like so amazing, whatever. And, and, and, but she has come to the point where she really owns it, you know. But I’m like, but that’s what God had for you. Not everyone else has that. And there is a beauty in that purity and there’s a beauty in that testimony. 

But like yours, when things shift, there’s a beauty in the shift too. And we can’t control it. And we don’t own our own testimonies, but God owns them. And we get to choose to walk them out in light and truth. And in love like you have done or we have the other choice to kind of, you know, let it spiral or let it go stagnant. We’re say maybe God was great when things were good, but maybe he’s not so three anymore. And we, and we get the choice to, like you said, put your money where your mouth is, but that’s amazing. And you, and you kept doing shows and you’re story didn’t end there. You’re not a single dad. Spoiler alert. Bob’s not a single dad showing me his wedding ring. He’s not a single dad anymore, so, okay. 

Bob:    What do you really want now? She’s actually, sorry, just one second. Yeah, she took her, our youngest is at the dentist right now, so, um, so, uh, yeah. So I started, I started dating. My kids were actually the ones who came to me and were like, you know, um, you should date and all that. And I, at first I didn’t, you know, I was just like, ah, it’s so awkward and all that. But I’ll be honest,  it was kind of nice to go out with somebody that like would sit at a table and actually listen and actually kind of be interested in me. And so that made me feel good because again, you know, I just felt like worthless. And so that was kind of <inaudible> therapeutic and um, but then I found out pretty quickly in my age, you know, the first, the first couple of dates is always just looking for the crazy because there’s so much out there, like don’t have baggage. I’ve got it like every, I had trust issues and all this kind of stuff. Um, so we all have baggage, but <inaudible> in there. It’s crazy. It’s kind of what you’re, there’s, yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. If you’re, if you’re not, it won’t let you fly cause you’re over your limit of baggage. That’s probably the kid. So I kind of had gotten a, I dated for a little while and then I, I decided that, you know what I was done. 

I was actually going into, um, Thanksgiving, Christmas, um, new years. And then I had a bunch of shows in January, February. And so I kind of decided I wasn’t going to start dating. I was just gonna put dating on hold, just concentrate on my kids and the um, uh, and my career. And so I wasn’t going to. And then I was on this dating app and I really was on this dating app because it was so entertaining because the profile stuff is, I, I spent my life trying to write this really good, smart comedy jokes. I had no idea it was all on one website for me. 

Um, and so, uh, this, this lady just messaged me and even though I’d already decided on one dating, the message was, it was very well written. It wasn’t just suck. How’s it going? You know, like, yeah, she didn’t know who I was, which I liked. Cause I had several people, especially early on who like didn’t know I was single and then they saw me on this dating app and they were like, Oh, I had one lady go, Oh my gosh, if we go out, my kids are huge fans. Can I bring, might not bring my kids. And I was like, delete, delete, like any. And so she was so funny in her inner message and very smart and she talked about Jesus a lot. And so I was like, okay, I’m not dating now. I’m taking a break, but I’ve got to respond to her. 

And so I responded to her and then we talked a little bit, we messaged back and forth and then I was in a hotel one night. I just got back from a show and she was like, Hey, I don’t know if this too forward, but I like to talk to you on the phone. So I called her that night. She was like, what are you doing? And it was, I was like, well, I’m packing and I gotta get some sleep. I have to leave the hotel at 5:00 AM. And we just started talking. And, uh, we just hit it off. And then I was sitting at the desk in a hotel room and my phone started buzzing. And it was because my alarm was going off that I’d set during the day and it was 5:00 AM wow. I, we talked for six hours. This is really unprofessional, but she’s texting me. 

Um, hold on guys. I love her. Some someone’s, anyway, she’s a, they just got out of the dentist and they want to grab lunch. Um, so, uh, yeah, so we, so we, we talked for six hours on the phone and we never stopped in and was like, Hey, do you realize how long we’ve been talking? Like it was not that wow. But then I was like, I really had kind of made a vow to myself that I was not, you know, I was just gonna put dating on hold, but I have to meet this girl. I flew back home and then I think two days later we went out to lunch and that was it. Like I was, I was done. Like, wow. It was, it really, I mean, obviously it took a while to get to know her and she kind of had gone through a lot of the same stuff that I had gone through. 

Um, and so we weren’t in any big rush. We both still kind of had our walls up and you know, in both of them had a lot of trust issues and stuff like that. So it wasn’t like immediately root Google Yad and stuff. But immediately I was drawn to this and the fact that she loved Jesus way more than she loved me or anybody else. I was like, Oh, this is what I’ve been missing in my life forever. And it really was just, it was eye opening. So yes. So we dated for a quite a long time. Uh, she met my kids and um, just fell in love with it and my kids loved her and so, and I met her. She has two, two kids. One of them is upstairs stomping around. Um, and Hey, 

Alexis:    I hear that’s great. 

Bob:    Come say hi. I’m doing a podcast interview. Um, this is Dylan about to come down here, but anyway, um, yeah, and so we got married December 15th. You want to be on a podcast? Yeah, be super famous. 

Alexis:    Hey Dylan. 

Bob:    It’s my bonus kid. Dylan does one of the kids that gave me the…. 

Alexis:    I was going to say the mug. The mug is amazing. Classic. I love it. 

Bob:    Yeah. Do you have anything to add to add to this podcast? 

Alexis:    Yes. Business man. 

Bob:    Sorry, that’s very unprofessional, but I don’t care. I’m a, I’m a dad before I’m anything else? 

Alexis:    That’s right. That’s right. So you guys do <inaudible> and then, and then got married. So how long have you guys been married? 

Bob:    We got married December 15th 

Alexis:    Oh, I mean you’re talking last year. 

Bob:    Yeah. 

Alexis:    Wow. Congratulations. You’re a newlywed man is so great. That’s amazing. I love that. I love that story. Thank you for sharing that with us because it’s, it’s like you said, you’ve got this, this great life with all of these amazing surprises and twists and turns, and then when something like this happens, you get to, you get to say this foundation that was being built when everything was rosy is still strong. Yeah, that’s actually good. 

Bob:    That’s my main message. I’m getting ready to tour in the Northeast and that’s going to be my main message is that, you know, I was single and then I was married and then I was, you know, gone through betrayal and all this stuff and then I was this really broken single person again. And then I met this amazing godly woman and now I’m married. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. But all of that is not to send a message of you’re only going to be happy unless you find the right perfect person for you. And it is exactly what you said. The only relationship that matters on this planet is your relationship with Christ. And if that is strong, then that gives you that strong foundation that even when the world not you down, it’s strong enough to stand back up on and still go through the the world with hopefully a smile on your face and a purpose in your heart. 

Alexis:    That’s amazing. Thank you so much Bob. I’m going to let you get to your lunch with your, with your fam jam with all of you guys. I mean I get, I’m guessing you guys haven’t started school yet either because it looks like, I’m wondering two more days. Yeah, we’ve got one more days the last day of summer for my kiddos. So tell everybody how we can get ahold of you. How can we know where you’re going to be so that we can come see you. We, we know a little bit Bob smiley.com but nailed it. I read it. 

Bob:    Yeah. My website is bobsmiley.com, uh, Facebook. I’m really active on Facebook and Instagram. I’m somewhat Twitter, but yeah. Uh, so my Instagram and Twitter account is @BobSmileycomic and then my Facebook, is @bobsmileycomedy. And we do, my wife and I actually do a weekly video called the Smiley Minute, which is a look at strange news that has happened the week before. Um, so that’s on, you know, YouTube and Facebook and all that kind of stuff and I really am great about answering messages and stuff like DMS and all that. So if anybody has any questions, let me know. 

Alexis:    Awesome. Thank you so much Bob. This has just been, this has been the best, so thanks for joining us. And Oh, no, huh. He was like, thanks for the phone and also got your credit card number so you have someone following in your footsteps generation comedy. I love it so much. I love it so much. Well, thank you Bob. I really appreciate it and we’ll talk to you next time. All right, we’ll see you. Bye. Thank you.

So thank you again so much for listening. Don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss an episode. Share the link with your friends. You can visit us at thatmakestotalsense.com and until next time, this is Alexis Busetti, remembering to do well for ourselves so we can do good for others. 

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